I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
