I wanna bring you to show and tell
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
