he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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