just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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