I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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