from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Come on in and take your pants off
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