So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
