I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
