By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize