i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize