I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
