We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's blow job season.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dicks are not precious.
And then he peed in my hair
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