My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
