The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
