get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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