Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
