she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
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to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
