none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Randomize