Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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