tell your sister to shave her snatch
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
