There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
