Please, let me fuck your mom
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I deserve this hangover.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
