Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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