I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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