Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
