that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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