i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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