just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
