You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
