one might say we're banned from that church
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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