I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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