so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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