If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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