Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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