Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
