either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
