He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
