Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
