Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We need to get me chipped asap
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
