I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
