I think I died a long time ago.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize