Sry I called you an 8
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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