All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
