Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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