I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
