I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Text me some of your sweat
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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