dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
