I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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