The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
