Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
