it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
