Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
false alarm. still invincible.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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