the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
