Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
How does one acquire holy water?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
