just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
