after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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