we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
