He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
MIDGETS
????
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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