I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's rum buckets o'clock
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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