remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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