you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
