I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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