dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
