I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My balls are so social today.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
