I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize